catpiles | nobody can tell who anybody else is in the dark except they totally can

How do you even keep in shape?

[ Tugging at his royal robes to try and inspect his royal abs ]

I work out!

[ Sorry, Elsa. Hans opted for authentic Joffrey, not the "sexy Joffrey" variant. ]

I run and jog and lift weights. How else could I look this good?

You could have a crazy metabolism.

[ fiiiiiiiiine. Inspection over. ]

You sure you don't wanna to grab something to eat at 7-11 or something?

Well, my metabolism is pretty good, yeah. But I guess I wouldn't mind, if it means I can go with you... and avoid a mother of a hangover.

[ That disappointed inspection isn't lost on him. Though of course, he comes to the "obvious" conclusion. ]

...There's a zipper in the back, if you want.

[ ...give her just a second-- wait. no. stop considering it ]

I'm not stripping you in the middle of the party. Come on. We'll go to 7-11 and then we'll come back here and hang out.

So, later, then?

[ He smirks, though he's glad to follow her out to get snacks. More "friend" time, right? ]

...Much.

[ Hey, he may need a thorough examination to make sure he hasn't been poisoned. Every inch of him. ]

Long nights aren't anything new to me.

[ The cold never bothered him anyway.

Neither does following Elsa like a lapdog, apparently. ]

...Ever play pokemon?

[ SHE'S SERIOUS ABOUT THIS BEING FRIENDS THING. ]

Um... no?

[ Random, bro. ]

My brothers had it, but they never let me play so I never really got into it.

Alright, how about this, we grab some food and then you get past the first-- [ she thinks on this ]-- two gym leaders in Pokemon, then we can do something else.

[ She's sure this will end in the loss of clothing but whatever. It's a plan. ]

You're going to barter sex with me using pokemon?

[ Hans doesn't even have a DS... Not that he can't just buy one. ]

Oh-- but I mean. Not sex, I know we agreed on that but you know what I mean.

Do you have a problem with that?

Absolutely not, I just wanted to make sure were on the same page.

[ Whipped. Boy, you whipped. ]

Come on, let's go.

[ You're getting dragged out of the apartment for provisions ]

[ Hans smiles, following Elsa out of the house and away from the party, all the way to Seven Eleven. They get a few weird looks for their costumes, but they're out of there soon enough anyway. All they get are a few snacks (things no non-college student would eat,) and head home.

Elsa's home, anyway.

On the way back, they manage to sneak into the party mostly unnoticed, holing themselves up in Elsa's room while the party rages on, so to speak. Hans is cool with that-- he's not really what you'd call "friends" with anyone, so it's not like he's missing anything worthwhile downstairs.

It's quiet in Elsa's room by comparison. Better that way, since Hans intends to breeze through whatever Pokemon game Elsa makes him play. He'll need to quiet to concentrate. ]

How do you not have brainfreeze from drinking that? I can't believe you wanted a slurpee at this hour.

The cold never really bothered me.

[ Besides, cherry mixed with cola? Secret sin she had. She's let Hans borrow her DS while she types away at her computer, occasionally giving him help. She only checks in on him every once in a while. Especially when he's cursing-- ~~She may or may not have told him to repeatedly mash the B button when trying to catch pokemon~~ ]

Where are you again?

[ How close was he to even beating the next gym leader? ]

[ Hans answers dutifully, obviously immersed in his game. He might complain about it later, but these things are addictive. ]

I beat the first gym, but now I have to level grind for a while. It was harder than I expected. Maybe I should have picked the grass type...

You're going to come across bumps on the way no matter who you chose.

[ Heh. Funny picture. Reblogged. She'll glance up. ]

Need any more tips, or you good for now?

I'm going to get through this tonight-- I refuse to leave empty handed. So to speak--

[ He cuts himself off though, cursing as the pokemon he was trying to catch breaks out of its pokeball. ]

What the hell is wrong with this thing, I had him paralyzed, for God's sake!

You need to weaken them until the health bar turns red.

[ ... ]

And hit the B button.

The B button? Why don't they tell you that?

[ Hans grumbles, dejected. Really, if he could just catch a Pikachu the rest of the game would go easily... He sighs. Mind you, he's still wearing that damn costume... ]

This game is a lot more complicated than I thought.

You have to think longer term is all.

[ She'll lean forward from her spot on the bed to scrub a hand through his hair. ]

Thought of anything you'd want, yet?

[ .... ]

And don't you dare say a date.

How'd you know? [ Hans smirks. ] But since I can't get a date...

[ He looks over, smile wide on his face. ]

How about... a chance to see you naked? Since you've already seen what I have to offer, anyway.

[ Oh hey, you got some excess gold paint in your hair, she's just going to pick it out now. Plus damn your hair is soft. ]

...And that's all you want?

[ Seemed innocent. and kinda cute. She had other ideas of what to do of course. ]

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TIME SKIP TO ELSAS ROOM AFTER THESE FEW TAGS?

yesss I bet Hans was a nerd and got tricked into buying Elsa a slurpee

...she just snuck it in.

hans like "ew that stuff has so much sugar"

He says as he makes a root beer float in the kitchen and grabs some cheesecake to down it

shhhhhhhh but that's *natural* sugar

oh my god

hans doesn't even buy organic cause it's healthy he gets it cause it's expensive

DID YOU JUST. YOU GET TO TIME SKIP FOR THAT SHIT.

huehuehuehue

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shhhhhhhh but that's natural sugar