nobody can tell who anybody else is in the dark except they totally can

[icy]

fairy lights are everywhere to make the costumes more realistic~ for drunken eyes and clowns are making out with fairies wtf it is super dark COSTUME PARTY YOOOO

Comments

[icy]

Unsurprising. So what are they? The ground rules.

[ Are they fair or??? He's interested, okay. ]

[ingoodhans]

Well, not being "together" is one of them. Like, in a relationship. We're casual.

[ Yeah, she friendzoned him. ]

And what the hell's "unsurprising" supposed to mean, huh?

[icy]

[ Hans, the friendzone does not exist. ]

It's Elsa, of course she's set ground rules. You're the first not-quite boyfriend she's ever had, if I'm not remembering things wrong. Jesus, it's not even like you're an idiot she could push around if she felt uncomfortable, she's probably got a chessboard running up in her head every time you guys speak.

[ Mmm, beer. Take the wise Night Fury's advice. ]

If I wanted to date Elsa, I'd ask her outright. And then I'd say, "You're amazingly clever and funny, and beautiful, so please let me spend all my money on you".

[ingoodhans]

[ No, she literally made out with him and they had shirtless makeouts and then she asked to be "just friends." ]

She's smart, I know that. [ Hell, it's why he wants to date her. ] And trust me, she more than makes up for the lack of experience.

[ This is sound advice, though. Huh, maybe you're not so bad, Jack. ]

I've told her pretty outright that I want to date her. She's not big on flattery-- well, unless it's honest. But I can only pull that card so much.

[icy]

[ Then you're her bitch, son. ]

Me and Hiccup are just ... really honest with each other. It's kind of embarrassing sometimes, but it works. He acts like he's not big on flattery but he definitely is, he gets all pink around the ears and bites his lip ...

[ Heheh, cutiepatootie in his mind's eyes, oops. ]

[ingoodhans]

[ ding, ding, ding, right on the money. ]

I think I'd have to actually be with her to say "we're" honest with each other. But communication isn't a problem, if that's what you're thinking.

[ Hans makes a face. Could you not talk about your boyfriend, because Hans isn't sure he can do the same about Elsa without breaking some kind of trust... ]

[icy]

Well, I mean. If it's not communication ... For ages I screwed around trying to get Hiccup to kiss me, I practically drove him nuts. It's ... It was kind of a big deal, at first, we had to talk it through.

[ Yeesh. Avoiding that mess, he rubs the back of his neck. ]

Just bug her? I don't know, that's all I've got.

[ingoodhans]

Bug her, huh?

[ Seriously? He's more the 'let them come to you' kind of guy. But then, he's also the 'dump em once you're bored' type, so Elsa's the exception. ]

You really think she'll go for that?

[icy]

[ Shrugging. HE'S JUST A DRAGON, what does he know? ]

It worked on Hic, and now we spend almost every night together.

[ingoodhans]

...why are you helping me with this, anyway?

[ Hans actually... is he touched? Well, he's at least surprised. ]

I thought you and everybody else hated me.

[icy]

[ Jack blinks widely, also surprised. ]

I never said that. Just because you're an asshole more often than not doesn't mean I'm going to lead an angry mob with pitchforks to your house, Hans.

... You think everyone hates you?

[ingoodhans]

Well, like you said, I'm an asshole.

[ He's kinda used to girls' friends hating him, he just shrugs. ]

Shouldn't you be "protecting" Elsa from me or something?

[icy]

Hans, you're not the bad guy.

[ingoodhans]

....Huh?

[ But that's what he's used to......... ]

So I should... blame Elsa for us not being together yet...?

[icy]

... No. [ SWEET ICICLES. ] I can't tell if you're trying to be funny or genuinely this socially inept.

[ingoodhans]

Sorry, I've just been-- I mean, the way I usually wind up breaking up with girls is doing the "bad guy" thing so I'm a little lost.

[ He's honestly... never had a serious girlfriend......... ]

I thought that was kind of my MO. I'm honest, I make her cry, we go our separate ways. That's who you're dealing with here. That's how I've been doing it for years.

[icy]

It's not the part where you're honest that makes them cry, it's the shit you did that you have to be honest about. What have your reasons even been for dumping people before?

[ This is a conversation way too meaningful for a fairy-light lit hallway with both as them dressed as a kind and lizard. ]

[ingoodhans]

They started to want something serious, but I didn't, so I broke it off before they got any ideas.

[ Ideas he filled their head with until they started to show signs of reciprocating, of course. And what are you talking about, Jack, these are problems any inbred king would have to worry about. ]

[icy]

... Oh. Well, that's not bad. Why did you date them if you didn't want anything serious?

[ Suspecting things, albeit trying not to and to give Hans the benefit of the doubt. ]

this icon is actually relevant I swear

[ingoodhans]

For fun, obviously. Sometimes if the guys in my frat dared me to, as well.

[ Hm... that sounds bad even to him. ]

But just to be clear, that was freshman year. It was a hazing thing. I did it to make friends with the guys.

[ You see why he doesn't really hang out with his college 'friends' now that he's in law school... ]

hans pls

[icy]

Okay, uh. Just be sure to tell Elsa you like her for the actual reasons you do, even if they're shallow.

[ 99% certain they are. ]

frat boy hans just needs some love

[ingoodhans]

But it's hard......

[ Whiiiiine. ]

I'm not used to saying phony shit like that and meaning it.