it's not a nude party but there's no rules against taking your pants off too

[flightsuit]

in which everyone is required to take their damn shirt off because reasons that's really all there is to this party so just take it off ladays and gents TOPLESS PARTY

Comments

[icy]

It is horrible. Haven't you ever been dumped before? You feel like shit and even if you're the one doing the dumping, you still feel like shit whether you want to or not.

[ingoodhans]

I've never been dumped, no. But I usually don't feel too bad about it when I do the dumping.

[ RED FLAGS. RIGHT HERE. HANS HAS NO HEART. ]

[icy]

[ Shaking his head. ]

Alright, let's have a little experiment.

[ Poking him in the arm. ]

For the next week, I'm dumping you as a friend. I'm not going to want to look at you, talk to you, I won't even acknowledge that you exist because some people actually do that. Starting right now, you're nothing to me.

[ Which implies he is (or was) as Jack walks past him. ]

[ingoodhans]

Is that how you'd dump someone? Seems awfully harsh, don'tcha think?

[ Says the asshole, sipping his soda... and following Jack. ]

Never had an amicable break up before? It doesn't always have to be so bad.

[icy]

[ Striding upstairs, he adopts a tone that certainly doesn't belong to him but is picked out of the depths of memory. (No need to plumb them too far, as it turns out.) ]

Why are you always there? Can't I move without seeing you? I don't want to hear anything you've got to say, it'd be better if you were just invisible so I could walk through you.

[ And heading across the landing to his bedroom. ]

Don't you get it? I wish you'd vanish.

[ingoodhans]

[ Hans says nothing at all. Not yet. He sets his soda down and follows him, observing Jack for the most part. Okay, Hans doesn't really know Jack that well but he can guess that's not his thing. His tone is too forced, and Hans is too damn perceptive.

Plus, really, that's the kind of thing Hans' brothers used to tell him all the time, so the bad memories don't exactly improve his mood. ]

Aw, Jack. But if I vanish, then who'll notice you?

[icy]

My boyfriend.

[ Incensed for real this time, he slams his door. The lock snicks across it, out of sight. ]

[ingoodhans]

Hm, I don't think he likes me.

[ Boo, so much for that. Hans stands outside Jack's room for a bit, trying to figure out where he went wrong, exactly. Because, y'know, he's heartless and doesn't really get people when they don't play by his tune.

Okay, so he was goading Jack with that last bit, but... Nope, he can't figure it out. If he's fake nice, people distrust him. If he's honest, then he's a jerk. He almost wants to ask...

What did I ever do to you?

But Hans has heard enough answers from his brothers to know there's no point in pursuing that. ]

You want me to dump Anna? Fine. I can be the bad guy.

[ Just, uh, don't do anything drastic, Hans. Like. Break her heart instead of letting her down slow.

Uh oh. He's practically monologuing... ]

[icy]

Go away, Hans!

[ Something thunks against the wall (probably one of Hiccup's dragon figurines, he'd got a thousand. Or seven. ]

[ingoodhans]

[ Hans just smirks. Now he's leaning on the door, whispering into the doorknob. ]

Okay, byeee.