catpiles | it's not a nude party but there's no rules against taking your pants off too

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Entry tags:

!memes,
college au

it's not a nude party but there's no rules against taking your pants off too

in which everyone is required to take their damn shirt off because reasons
that's really all there is to this party so just take it off ladays and gents

TOPLESS PARTY

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Really? And what does the winner get?

Enormous piles of money? Lifetime supply of beer?

Or, better yet, their own pet reindeer?

[Well, he's tall enough. Maybe when she least expects it, like when her mind is adrift in thought or something. Maybe she has a thing about dirt and she'll think of that. Because seriously, it would be so easy! She just has to be the right amount of distracted!]

What a dumb game, Elsa. Don't know why anyone's wasting their time.

It's not like they're particularly anything special.

[ huff puff ]

What was your name again?

Kristoff.

[A shrug.]

But some people call me Sven for some reason. This one asshole in particular... but it's not important.

[Crap, STILL NOTHING. Elsa over here is relentless, he needs to think of something that'll distract her. That gardener guy still happens to be in the bathroom...]

Kristoff.

[ She repeats quietly. ]

Well, at the very least you seem to be enjoying the whole --"shirtless" angle.

[ Gesturing to your manliness... and hmmmm yeah, you are definitely manly. Gonna give him a quick look over in the peripheral vision but nothing too long. Her sister had set sights on him after all.

tho u seem kinda agitated buddy, u okay? ]

[The bathroom door is actually right next to Kristoff. From the side of him that Elsa can't see, he hopes she doesn't notice him knocking the door. From inside the bathroom, an odd voice with a Scottish accent shouts in complaint of someone knocking. His vocabulary is chock full of expletives and colorful words, but that's to be expected from an underpaid gardener. He also lives in the property's abandoned tool-shed.]

What is his-- [This is his chance, that weird guy's voice is distracting enough!] damage? [Kristoff goes in for the pull, dragging the shirt up to her arms pretty fast. She, of course, reacts, but Kristoff's not giving up at this point. Let the struggle commence.]

Gotcha, dammit!

Wha--!

[ OH YOU DIRTY SCOUNDREL. SHE'S GONNA FIGHT YOU NOW!!! Arms locked at the side as she tries to twist away from his larger frame, the shirt is halfway up and you'll be getting an eyeful of some underboob.

Well-- she's sort of laughing because this is really ridiculous??? ]

No fair! You can't pretend to be good!

Oh, but I am good. That's how I got this far!

[Kristoff is too comparatively tall to even get that eyeful, but he can live with that. For someone like him, it's go big or go home.]

You owe a soda when I win! And it has to be my favorite soda.

[She's not actually hard to outmatch in terms of strength. But he's gonna make her feel like she has a chance anyway because, really, it's kinda funny to watch. But then the man in the bathroom starts slamming the bathroom wall with the side of his fist. They can both hear him exclaim:

Quiet doon, ye wee shits! Aam tryin' tae tak' a jobby in haur!

Too bad Kristoff doesn't care.]

When you win?

[ She's still struggling and she can't EVEN push away because then she'd have to take her hands off her boobs which means they'd be exposed- ]

Someone else could see them more than you!

[He slams the bathroom wall even harder with his fist. These fucking kids.]

FUR CHRIST'S SAKE, WILL YE BAITH SHUT TH' FUCK UP AN' LIT AN OGRE SHIT IN PEACE?

[...Awkward.]

Okay, that's it.

[Like it's nothing, Kristoff just bends down for a second so he can scoop Elsa up and sling her whole body over his shoulder.]

We're gonna get out of here before that guy comes out. Already pissed him off once!

Edited 2014-06-05 08:48 (UTC)

[ Okay-- to say elsa was kinda shocked by the gardener is a massive understatement--shocked enough that she's thrown over his shoulder with almost no protest ]

H--Hey! You can't just pick me up!

[ Damn, she knew he was big but jesus. He made her feel like she was a feather. ]

Guess again, I just did.

[There's a whole second floor that the gardener's gonna have to climb stairs to get to. Here's to hoping he doesn't like stairs, then.]

This is what we have to do if we hope to survive! That guy is nasty!

[And like that, they're already in the hallway of the second floor. Kristoff's size is by no means to his detriment, after all.]

I'm not putting you down, though. You're gonna have to ditch a certain something so I can win.

J-Just 'cause you see them first doesn't mean you win and--

[ She'll squirm violently in his hold, trying to keep that shirt firmly around her with her hands ] --this is black mail!

Don't be like that, Elsa. I don't even want money!

[Yeah, he's not relenting either.]

Just soda.

[ Well, guess who's on the second floor. Yes, it's Hans--shirtless, because that's how the game goes. Actually, he'd gone upstairs to the bathroom since the one on the first floor was occupied and now--

Uhm, well. This is certainly a sight. Was he trying to take off Elsa's shirt? I mean, sure, Hans might even feel a little embarrassed if he wasn't a jealous asshole. ]

Elsa? [ Well, he knows her. Sorta. He did kinda wake up in her bed that time. As for the other dude, the one carrying her... ] And Kris....topher? What are you doing? Put her down!

Hans.

[At first, he greets the bastard with some well-deserved disdain. Shoots him the evil eye, even. But this may be the first time Kristoff's seen him shirtless.]

Dude. [He kind of forgets that Elsa's still on his shoulder.]

...You seriously lift, man! In all the times I've punched your face, I never noticed your trim figure.

[Before Kristoff beats him up yet, he's just gonna marvel. Hans, you're still a dick. But Kristoff gives credit where credit is due.]

How do you keep in shape?

[ WOW and now Elsa's situation just went from Bad to Worse. Well, really, she's not afraid either one of these guys is going to hurt her or force her to do anything. But one is persistent and annoying-- but kind of hot.... and -- yeah okay the other one is just the same.

Shit. ]

Maybe you should let me down and you two can discuss your work out sessions with each other?

[ Yup, helpless little whimper from the girl on your shoulder kristoff. Still trying to hold that shirt up. ]

[ Hans glares right back, but Kirstoff's words have him taking his guard down in the blink of an eye. You chose the right plan to distract him, Kristoff. Flattery will get you everywhere with him. ]

Well, I do some riding as well as lifting weights... But I try to run, too. It's good to build up endurance.

[ You know he spends every morning admiring himself in the mirror. He's that kind of guy. ]

I do wonder about that-- what's Elsa doing on your shoulder, exactly? Don't you think you should put her down?

[Heh, Kristoff didn't even plan it. He's just genuinely impressed!]

You can't fool me with that handsome face of yours, Hans. I know your angle.

[Have an accusatory glare.]

You're just gonna take her and her shirt off for yourself! Admit it!

[ Okay she needs to start working out ~~or get ice powers~~ because she can't do anything but hang here and be useless ]

Are either one of you even listening to me?

H-her shirt? Do you really think I'd be so crass?

[ He was gonna feel her up until she took it off herself, duh. But he's playing dumb because he's an ass. ]

Anyway, put her down! She obviously didn't consent to being manhandled like she is.

[Kristoff sighs in resignation. He knows Hans isn't going to let up, but he also hears some heavy footsteps ascending that staircase. Kristoff knows damn well who that is, but in feigning ignorance of it, he shrugs. Elsa is still on his shoulder, by the way.]

Okay, fine. You know what?

[Now he puts her on Hans's shoulder. And quietly, he steps back.]

Screw it. Just take her, you beautiful man. [Never have endearing words sounded more spiteful.]

What!? [no seriously. What] Kristoff!

Ah-- hey!

[ Hans might be strong, but Elsa's sudden weight certainly does wind him a bit-- enough that he puts her down on her feet. Now isn't the time for showboating, there's obviously a reason Kristoff is running the hell out of here. I mean, Hans is practically still standing at the bathroom door here. ]

Where the hell are you going?

YOU SOONDS AY BITCHES ARE SO LOWD, AH COODS HEAR YA WHILE AH WAS STILL SHITTIN' DOWNSTAIRS!

[Look who's here, everybody. He also assumes that it was Hans and not Kristoff who was mainly bothering him earlier.]

Re: brace yourselves

ingoodhans - 2014-06-06 06:22 (UTC) - Expand

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